Relationship Happiness

Love: Temporary Insanity? 

Recent evidence suggests it won’t be long before people begin to justify relationship breakdown by reason of ‘temporary insanity’. Sigh.

The University College in London has found that feelings of love lead to suppression of activity of the brain controlling critical thought. Their research suggests that once we get close to someone, our brains ignore the need to assess the character and personality of that person.

The study also showed that the areas of the brain responsible for producing negative emotions and judgements had reduced levels of activity in regard to that ‘special someone’.

In other words, when we get hit with the ‘love mood’, it causes a temporary insanity that sabotages our normally clear thinking!

Shakespeare was right when he wrote in the Merchant of Venice; ‘Love is blind’.

Moira and I met and were married in around 12 weeks. And we lived in different cities. Was I temporarily insane when I married her?  Maybe I was.

But I’m the one who signed up for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health…

The intoxication of the early days of a new relationship is something everyone should enjoy. But as sure as the brightness of a new day follows the darkness of the night, irritation and disappointment will follow.

The differences in each other that we find attractive and perhaps cute often become sources of tension and conflict. 

A couple who came to see me didn’t get what they wanted, each wanting me to back their finger pointing, fault finding aggro.

But I ignored their complaints and asked them what their marriage dream was. Surprised, they tried to direct the conversation back to their juvenile (in my opinion) posturing.

When they finally began to paint a picture of why they got married in the first place the atmosphere began to lighten.

When residents of north and far north Queensland began to prepare for cyclone Yasi, no-one said they weren’t leaving until they’d completed their low level maintenance lists. They kept their attention on the main game. They secured their home and headed for safety.

Keeping the right perspective is critical to the success of about anything in life. It’s easy to get distracted and focus on the little things in a relationship. It’s far better to keep the dream alive that brought you together in the beginning.

Tags: Keep The Dream Alive